ItsOnlyBob

Several years ago, Linda and I were in a store at the mall when I let out an SBD. Holy Jesus. Easily the most foul-smelling atrocity I've ever committed. It was so horrid, I couldn't bear to own up to it—even to my spouse, who is well acquainted with the weapons-grade exhaust our two sons and I can produce.  But I could hardly pretend we weren’t suddenly standing in a cloying mist of wretched gloom and rotting vegetation, so I faux-innocently darted a few judgy glances at nearby customers. At the very least, I figured a funk so thick and vile must have staying power and long-range mobility, so I could plausibly deflect my guilt if Linda should accuse me: Aw, c’mon, sweetie, that one coulda floated in from the food court!  Well. Linda didn't say anything … but she did indeed react. I could practically see the waft as it traveled up her nostrils. Her nose twitched, and then she winced. That was it—but it was priceless. Mercifully, her eyes betrayed no accusation, ...

President Trump: I believe America is already great. But man, it was hard to listen to your inaugural speech—to your bleak, desolate view of where we are at this moment in our history—and not to wonder what kind of lenses my world-vision glasses must be missing.  I believe America has always been great, even in its darkest moments.  I believe America’s greatness lies in the slow but sure admission of its inherent weaknesses and injustices, and in its determination to fix them, even in the face of crippling internal opposition.  I believe America’s greatness lies in embracing its diversity—in welcoming the best aspects of every culture in our celebrated Melting Pot, not just those that trace back to the comfortable but outdated pages of the history books we studied in the '50s and ‘60s. I believe America’s greatness lies in its ability to distinguish between the loving, inclusive, peaceful beliefs of any religion, and the fearful, violent delusions of p...