Inconsistency by the Damn Mouthful

So I'm watching ESPN tonight and I see the Capital One commercial with Samuel Jackson. I've seen it before, and noted the rarity of a mainstream commercial using a phrase like "every damn day." The first time I saw it, I even rewound it to be sure I heard right. Then I thought, hey, it's Samuel Jackson. Good for you—push that envelope! 

But wait ... this time the ad is slightly different. This time he says the card delivers on its benefits "every single day." Really? Not as effective, to my ear. Certainly not Jacksonesque language. A quick google search reveals there was (shocker!) public backlash. Apparently some people's ears went up in flames when they heard the dreaded "d" word. They complained, so the company went with a blander version that could as easily have featured Beaver Cleaver. 

Two commercials later, a couple of high-school girls at an arcade check out a shy boy standing nearby, out of earshot. "Lewis never smiles," says one girl. So the other one sneaks up on him and tickles the back of his neck. Lewis turns around with a startled giggle and dazzles the young lady with a Technicolor grill of ... wait, is that...? Yes. Skittle teeth. The girl stares, shock quickly morphing into lust, and then administers a ravenous mouth-to-mouth. 

When they pull apart, Lewis's woozy grin reveals a lone bicuspid Skittle clinging weakly to a ridge of ravished gums. The girl smiles back ... and then crunches lewdly on a couple of Lewis’s erstwhile bicuspids.

Cue voiceover: "French the rainbow! Taste the rainbow!"

Offended? Hardly. Just confused (yet amused) by these motherfucking standards in these motherfucking ads. 

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